Mindfulness practice isn't about quieting the mind...

Most clients come back to me after their first attempts at mindfulness practice saying something like, “I’m no good at this. I can’t stay focused”” or “I can’t clear my mind!” They forget an essential part of the basic instructions I’ve given them for practicing mindfulness, which is to expect your mind to wander from your focus. We are experts at thinking! That’s what our brains are designed to do and we’re too good at it. So, when you practice mindfulness, you must fully expect that you will have thoughts. Lots of them. The goal of the practice is not to clear your mind or to relax. The goal is simply to notice when you are thinking about anything other than your chosen focus and once you’ve realized this, you gently bring your mind back to the focus…over and over and over. Every time you bring your mind back to your focus from wherever it has drifted to, you are training your mind. You are paving a new path. You may not be able to control what thoughts pop into your mind, but you can choose whether you will focus on the thought or not.

It’s a practice of returning again and again to your focus and knowing that you will not maintain the focus, but you can bring your mind back to your focus once you realize that you’re thinking of something else. And, I say that you do this “gently” because we have a tendency to judge ourselves when we drift to a new thought by telling ourselves that we’re “doing it wrong” or “can’t do it”. You are doing it right. Everyone’s mind drifts away from the focus. You may have 50 other thoughts in 5 minutes! It’s okay. Just realize when it’s happening and bring your mind back…and don’t judge it. That act of bringing your mind back is the point of the practice. It’s the workout for the brain. This is the goal. It’s often not relaxing. Sometimes it’s hard. But, the more you can smile at yourself and how busy your mind is and then refocus, the more enjoyable it will be.